Who is Dancing in Socks Guy? And how did we get together?
Dancing in Socks Guy is my fiance. Unofficial fiance, because while we are not formally engaged, we're planning on getting married. As in, we've discussed when, where, who's invited and all of that. I don't want an engagement ring, but I do want a formal proposal, which I believe he is pondering. Probably on the jumbotron at a Phoenix Suns game.
We have been together for over a year and a half, though we've known each other for nearly twelve years. We first 'met' online (of course) in a chat room called Club Wired. Club Wired was started by Wired Magazine and was one of the first, and more popular chat rooms. There was never anything romantic between us then, though he's since told me he had a huge crush on me at the time. One barrier to any romance was the fact that he's some years younger than me, no big deal now, but problematic back then. Plus, I was busy getting my heart broken by a bunch of other Club Wired denizens.
Club Wired went the way of the dinosaurs, but a few of us kept in touch -- a couple of emails a year, that kind of thing. Towards the end of my tenure on Club Wired, Dancing in Socks Guy's mom was diagnosed with cancer. She did well for many years, but eventually died back in 2005. He took care of her for the last three years or so of her life, and as I'd done the same thing for my grandparents, we had that in common. He emailed me when his mom died, and we talked about that, and what it was like to suddenly stop being a caregiver. Then a few months passed, and I emailed him to see how he was doing, then he called me, then he called me again and next thing you know ...
We'd both done the online romance thing before, and I'd sworn back in 1997 to never, ever, never, ever, NEVER EVER do that again. They'd all gone the same way -- this instant, intense emotional connection via chat and phone, followed by a real-life meeting that had all the passion of dead trout and the usual and painful denouement of recriminations and disappointment. I knew it worked for some people, but after a few truly awful experiences, I was convinced it was not for me.
So of course, there I was, forming an instant, intense emotional connection with Dancing in Socks Guy, after swearing that was never going to happen. And he was feeling the same thing. We danced around it for a bit, then finally on April 23, 2006 we both fessed up on what we now call Mutual Disclosure Day. That's what we celebrate as our anniversary. We met face to face shortly thereafter, and it's been love and rainbows and ponies ever since.
We have a lot in common -- cats (he has two, I have four), a love of cartoons and comic strips, music, world view, science and all that. We also have some striking differences, the most obvious of which is an eight-year age difference, which makes me a cougar though he still falls within the half-your-age-plus-seven rule and the fact that he's Navajo, and I am an Italian-European Mutt Mix.
The age difference is not such a big deal now as it would have been twelve years ago -- we were in our thirties and have had similar experiences, and wanted the same things out of life. The only time it's noticeable is when he talks about things like watching the Smurfs on Saturday mornings, dressed in footie pajamas and eating Cocoa Puffs and I realize that when that was going on I was probably sleeping off the wages of the previous night's kegger.
The interracial aspect is more striking. It doesn't matter in the sense that it's no barrier to a relationship, but in some ways it does matter -- as it does in any interracial relationship, and this isn't my first time dating someone of a different race -- because there are certain things regarding each of our ethnicities that the other can only appreciate on a purely intellectual level. As with the age thing, it doesn't come up all that often, but it's there, and in a different way than I've ever experienced before.
As for his name -- that came about due to my involvement in a Livejournal community dedicated to commentary on the strip, "For Better or For Worse." One character was dating a guy who was half-indigenous (only half, in what I consider a massive cop-out on the part of the strip's creator) and at one point this character and her boyfriend were dancing around the living room in their socks, which became a metaphor for being all goofy-sappy in wuv, and since that's how I feel, Dancing in Socks Guy he became :)
So, there it is. We spend a lot of time flying back and forth, talk for hours every day, and have met the families and all that. I actually just met his dad and sister (see below), and I like them both a lot. His sister is 'one of us' and his dad is so sweet. When we were leaving, he gave me a hug and said "Welcome to the family."
*Sniffle*
That was so nice to hear, and actually trumps what my mom did when she met DISG, which was to bring picture of my niece and nephew along, ostensibly to show them to me because I hadn't yet seen them, but in reality as an unconscious plea for more grandchildren. But that is another post.
Elle
Dancing in Socks Guy is my fiance. Unofficial fiance, because while we are not formally engaged, we're planning on getting married. As in, we've discussed when, where, who's invited and all of that. I don't want an engagement ring, but I do want a formal proposal, which I believe he is pondering. Probably on the jumbotron at a Phoenix Suns game.
We have been together for over a year and a half, though we've known each other for nearly twelve years. We first 'met' online (of course) in a chat room called Club Wired. Club Wired was started by Wired Magazine and was one of the first, and more popular chat rooms. There was never anything romantic between us then, though he's since told me he had a huge crush on me at the time. One barrier to any romance was the fact that he's some years younger than me, no big deal now, but problematic back then. Plus, I was busy getting my heart broken by a bunch of other Club Wired denizens.
Club Wired went the way of the dinosaurs, but a few of us kept in touch -- a couple of emails a year, that kind of thing. Towards the end of my tenure on Club Wired, Dancing in Socks Guy's mom was diagnosed with cancer. She did well for many years, but eventually died back in 2005. He took care of her for the last three years or so of her life, and as I'd done the same thing for my grandparents, we had that in common. He emailed me when his mom died, and we talked about that, and what it was like to suddenly stop being a caregiver. Then a few months passed, and I emailed him to see how he was doing, then he called me, then he called me again and next thing you know ...
We'd both done the online romance thing before, and I'd sworn back in 1997 to never, ever, never, ever, NEVER EVER do that again. They'd all gone the same way -- this instant, intense emotional connection via chat and phone, followed by a real-life meeting that had all the passion of dead trout and the usual and painful denouement of recriminations and disappointment. I knew it worked for some people, but after a few truly awful experiences, I was convinced it was not for me.
So of course, there I was, forming an instant, intense emotional connection with Dancing in Socks Guy, after swearing that was never going to happen. And he was feeling the same thing. We danced around it for a bit, then finally on April 23, 2006 we both fessed up on what we now call Mutual Disclosure Day. That's what we celebrate as our anniversary. We met face to face shortly thereafter, and it's been love and rainbows and ponies ever since.
We have a lot in common -- cats (he has two, I have four), a love of cartoons and comic strips, music, world view, science and all that. We also have some striking differences, the most obvious of which is an eight-year age difference, which makes me a cougar though he still falls within the half-your-age-plus-seven rule and the fact that he's Navajo, and I am an Italian-European Mutt Mix.
The age difference is not such a big deal now as it would have been twelve years ago -- we were in our thirties and have had similar experiences, and wanted the same things out of life. The only time it's noticeable is when he talks about things like watching the Smurfs on Saturday mornings, dressed in footie pajamas and eating Cocoa Puffs and I realize that when that was going on I was probably sleeping off the wages of the previous night's kegger.
The interracial aspect is more striking. It doesn't matter in the sense that it's no barrier to a relationship, but in some ways it does matter -- as it does in any interracial relationship, and this isn't my first time dating someone of a different race -- because there are certain things regarding each of our ethnicities that the other can only appreciate on a purely intellectual level. As with the age thing, it doesn't come up all that often, but it's there, and in a different way than I've ever experienced before.
As for his name -- that came about due to my involvement in a Livejournal community dedicated to commentary on the strip, "For Better or For Worse." One character was dating a guy who was half-indigenous (only half, in what I consider a massive cop-out on the part of the strip's creator) and at one point this character and her boyfriend were dancing around the living room in their socks, which became a metaphor for being all goofy-sappy in wuv, and since that's how I feel, Dancing in Socks Guy he became :)
So, there it is. We spend a lot of time flying back and forth, talk for hours every day, and have met the families and all that. I actually just met his dad and sister (see below), and I like them both a lot. His sister is 'one of us' and his dad is so sweet. When we were leaving, he gave me a hug and said "Welcome to the family."
*Sniffle*
That was so nice to hear, and actually trumps what my mom did when she met DISG, which was to bring picture of my niece and nephew along, ostensibly to show them to me because I hadn't yet seen them, but in reality as an unconscious plea for more grandchildren. But that is another post.
Elle
