Tuesday, July 1, 2008
Move #2
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Elle
at
10:08 AM
2
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Labels: Dancing in Socks Guy, General Love, Moving
Thursday, June 26, 2008
Au Revoir, Mes Amis!
Tonight, around midnight, I pick up Dancing in Socks Guy at the airport, and we head straight for Albuquerque, my four cats in tow.
Everything has been packed and shipped and cleaned and fixed that needed packing, shipping, cleaning and fixing. Now I just have to relax and trust that we'll all get there safely, one way or the other.
Please think good thoughts for us, and wish us luck!
Elle
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Elle
at
11:29 AM
1 Kerfuffles
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Labels: Dancing in Socks Guy, General Love, Moving
Saturday, June 7, 2008
This may be why I'm so tired tonight.
I've jumped right into it, paranoid about leaving things till the last minute. Here's what I've done in the last five days:
1.) Made appointments for the cats to get current on their rabies shots and get micro-chipped.
2.) Bought the cats safety collars (break-away) for the trip so they can wear their rabies tags and new ID tags, which I also got. Because micro-chipping alone isn't enough to assuage Mama Cat's paranoia about one of them getting lost along the way.
3.) Bought the cats carriers for the trip. Minx, Morsel and Thundercat all get along well, and will ride together in the gigantic Sof-Krate I bought for them. It's actually a soft-sided dog crate for larger breed dogs, but will nicely accomodate three cats with room to move about and lie down. Miss Lilly, since she is a calico and therefore does not play well with others gets her own crate, also large enough to move around a little. Each cage will hold small food and water dishes. I also found the coolest corner litter pans, meant for ferret cages, which will fit in each. Not, of course, that they will be used but it seemed only polite to provide them. Actually, they may use them -- when Baby Boy was first diagnosed with dilated cardiomyopathy he spent some time in an oxygen cage, kindly donated by a friend. It's basically a large dog cage, sealed in with plastic sheeting with a hole for a hose that runs to an oxygen concentrator. I used to put a small pan of litter in there for him, and he'd just put his hindquarters in and use it.
4.) Made arrangements to return said oxygen cage to said friend. She, like myself, is now caring for a second heart kitty, but like my Lilly, her cat is still asymptomatic as well. So it's been in my storage space for two years. Back it goes!
5.) Researched the route to Albuquerque, and found pet friendly hotels for the cats ... okay, there seems to be a cat-related trend going on here. Anyway, while a lot of hotels are pet friendly, we're somewhat restricted because "pet-friendly" usually means "friendly to one or two cats" and I have four. So it's places like Econolodge and Motel 6 and other places which have exterior corridors which make it easier to sneak in additional cats.
6.) Got my car lubed, oiled, filtered, had the belts checked, tired balanced and rotated (they're new-ish), the alignment checked, and the A/C recharged. If you live in eastern Massachusetts, go to Hogan Tire for your automotive needs, specifically the North Beverly location. They rock. It needs one more thing, a new catalytic converter -- though I could in theory let this go -- which gets done next Friday.
7.) Called my bank and worked out when to get new accounts and all that -- they have a branch in Albuquerque, so no problems there.
8.) Packed up my kitchen, sorted for "keep" and "yard sale."
9.) Packed up my living room knickknack thingies.
10.) Cleaned out one of my storage spaces, sorted things for "keep" and "yard sale."
11.) Sorted out my 400+ books, got rid of most that I will not be keeping via donation.
12.) With my mother's help (thanks Mom!) took my bed apart and brought it outside for whoever might want it. It's an old wooden platform bed, which would fetch nothing at a yard sale, and this basically emptied out the bedroom, which we cleaned. This way, I can store all the yard sale stuff in there which gives me a lot more room. I put the mattress on my futon, so I'll be sleeping in the living room from now on. I also disassembled and threw out the old cat tree. Which someone picked up right away. Even though it was raining that day and even though it's four years old and the sisal has mostly been ripped away. But I did vacuum off the worst of the cat hair before I chucked it.
13.) Got the yard sale permit. They're free, but in a small town with minimal serious crime, the police actually do check to make sure you have the permit and will shut you down if you don't have it.
14.) Brought home some boxes from work and two bags of foam packing peanuts which, fortuitously, were in said boxes.
15.) Started training the three students in the lab to do all those assays and cells stuff I do now.
16.) Brought some stuff to Mom's for temporary (really, I promise) storage. Actually, much of it was hers to start with. She'll send it along after we move into our new apartment.
17.) Got a new apartment. Actually, Dancing in Socks Guy did this. His current apartment is a smallish one bedroom, which we might have gotten away with if it had just been us. But, there are of course the six cats to consider, so we wanted a two bedroom. Luckily, thanks to the end-of-semester student exodus, there is a ton of stuff available at the moment, but we really wanted to stay in the area he's in now. It's literally right across the street from the university and less than two miles from where I'll be working. This could have waited till I got there, but school starts up again in August, which means things start getting rented in July. Luckily, a two-bedroom in the complex where he is now opened up which made it so easy -- he's already a tenant there, so there was no fuss, just a small transfer fee. Sweet! Of course, this means we spend three days driving across the country, have one day to recover and then have to move to a new place. But it's literally fifty feet from where he lives now, and his friends will help. They'll have to because I'll be at work that day. Not a full day, just HR stuff. Oh, darn.
18.) I also got my signed offer letter and non-disclosure agreements signed and mailed to the new job.
19.) I also resigned my per diem home-health aide job. I was actually working Sunday nights for them, on a pretty regular basis, which I guess makes it more of a part-time job. My last day for them is the fifteenth. I will miss them, they're a great agency.
20.) Got a copy of my birth certificate -- actually, Mom did (thanks again, Mom!). Although she did ask, "Will they let me get a copy of your certificate?" To which I answered, "Did you give birth to me?" I lose my birth certificates all the time, mainly because replacing it has never been a big deal since I live ten miles from where I was born. This is about to change.
21.) Found my social security card and the title to my car! I filed away the loan maturity stuff the finance company mailed me when I paid off my car, and couldn't remember if the title was in there, an issue because I'll need it when I change my registration, and getting a copy of a car title in Massachusetts is a uniquely challenging experience. But there it was.
All that. In five days. And there's still so much more to do!
Elle
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Elle
at
11:28 PM
1 Kerfuffles
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Labels: Dancing in Socks Guy, General Love, Kitties
Tuesday, June 3, 2008
Well ...
Yay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :) :) :)
Moving Day is (I think) June 27!
Elle
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Elle
at
8:38 PM
5
Kerfuffles
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Labels: Dancing in Socks Guy, General Love, Moving
Saturday, May 24, 2008
Mad World
The first was a trip to another New England state to watch my niece compete in the regional gymnastics meet. This was quite the family road trip, in fact, quite the blended family road trip. C is my brother's daughter. He and her mother were in a long-term relationship but never married, and after C was born, finally broke up for good. C now splits her time between them, and also spends a lot of time with my mom, who watches her several days a week after school. C's mother K is now involved with a great guy, B. B is older, and has two college-age children (both of whom are really great kids) and can always be found at these gymnastics meets with K, cheering C on.
So, two weekends ago found me, my brother J, C, K and B all driving up to Maine together for the meet. My mom and aunt D came up separately in another car. We spent the night there, mom and D in one room, K and B in their room, while J, C and I bunked in a third. I don't think J and B will ever go fishing together, but it was nice and comfortable, all of us hanging out in one room eating junk food and drinking beer while watching the Celtics as C ran up and down the hallways screaming along with the 100 other little gymnasts who were also staying there. The meet went very well, and C placed high on most of her events (we won't talk about the beam) and high overall. Not bad!
Last weekend found me in Albuquerque, visiting my Dancing in Socks Guy and ... having a second interview with the company I hope to get hired by. I don't want to jinx it, but it went very well. Phrases like "we're very interested" and "what are your salary requirements" and "what would the time line for your moving be?" were bandied about. This job is a very good fit for me, my qualifications are about 99% congruent with the job description and the technology seems feasible to me. We are at the reference-checking stage, and I don't anticipate any problems with that. Generally when I get to this stage I get the job, but there was one time I did not -- one of the higher-ups decided I wouldn't like the salary they were offering, even though I said it was fine, and it was, and that was that.
So, it looks good, but you never know. We'll see.
Most interesting in all of this is Grant Leader's reaction. While it's tempting to just flounce out of this job with an obscenity-laden goodbye, in reality, I can't do that. Too many other people, people who have been very good to me, would be affected and as brutal as the last few months were under GL, the fact remains that GL was also very good to me at one point in time. So, I sat down with GL and explained the situation, and it went very well.
There are two things at play here -- one, GL has been quite friendly and reasonable for the last two months. Whether that's because meds have been adjusted or the planets are aligned just so, I don't know, but things have been great. The second, and probably most helpful thing, is that this job is in Albuquerque, where my fiance lives, and even GL doesn't want to stand in the way of True Love. This is a perfect out for both of us -- GL can accept my leaving for this reason, whereas if I just went down the road apiece and got a similar job it would be seen as a betrayal.
With all this in mind, I asked GL to be a reference. That might, at first glance, seem like professional suicide, but I have another from the University as well, and while GL is emotionally labile, GL is basically honest. As it happens, there was nothing to worry about. I was BCC'd on the written one GL sent off, and it was positively glowing.
I am getting nervous about this ... the possibility of moving. I've moved myself cross-country before, but this time I find myself obsessing about things. The cats ... how will they deal with it? What if one escapes on the trip? I'm getting them micro-chipped (which sets off a whole other line of obsessive worrying about feline cancer) and they will be wearing collars with tags (which sets off yet another line of obsessive fears that they will strangle themselves, as they don't normally wear collars) and either mom or Dancing in Socks Guy will drive out with me so I'll have help, but nonetheless, I worry.
Idiotically enough, I don't worry about what should be the real fear, how my little feline heart patient, Lilly, will do. She's asymptomatic, but with feline heart conditions this means nothing, as that can change very fast. I suppose I don't worry as she's already traveled -- her foster mother flew with her (in the cabin, not as freight) from Cleveland to Boston and Lilly weathered that trip just fine. I'll have a supply of emergency meds with me, and God knows I know what to do if she goes into congestive heart failure, and for preparedness' sake I'll have all their medical records with me and a list of vets along the route ... well, maybe I am more worried than I thought I was.
So, that's where I am now. Updates as the situation warrants.
Elle
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Elle
at
1:34 PM
5
Kerfuffles
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Labels: Dancing in Socks Guy, General Love
Saturday, May 3, 2008
Breakfast Burrito
One of the things I love about Albuquerque, aside from seeing the love of my life, is the food. One thing I must always, always have when I'm out there is a breakfast burrito from The Frontier. Oh, how I love them. These are one of my "planned cheat" items, as they are made with white-flour tortillas and potatoes.
This morning I woke up with a powerful craving for a breakfast burrito, and was sad that I could not have one. They are a "cheat" item, after all, and it is not time to cheat. And then, I realized the following:
1.) I have eggs
2.) I have bacon
3.) I have Hatch chilies (canned, thanks to Dancing in Socks Guy who brought a case with him the last time he was here)
4.) I have cheese
5.) I have low-carb tortillas
Thus, with my muscular intellect, honed to razor-sharpness by years in higher education, I came to the conclusion that I could, in fact, have a legal breakfast burrito and that all that would be missing was the potatoes.
So I did. About 6 g total. And it was good!
Elle
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Elle
at
12:15 PM
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Labels: Dancing in Socks Guy, General Love
Sunday, April 6, 2008
White Rice Hangover, Redux
As in, bloated, tired, moody and suffering from a lovely rash on my throat and face. But, I started Induction again yesterday, and all will be well. I haven't stepped on the scale yet, mainly because I really don't want to know what it says. I'll wait till a week from now, once all the water weight I know I gained (hello, jiggly puff!) has flushed out.
We had a great time. Aside from eating a lot of stuff I shouldn't, we hung out with friends, and walked around Albuquerque's Biological Park and saw the Botanic Garden and the Aquarium. I was very impressed with the Aquarium -- it's small, but beautifully done. The Botanic Garden was lovely as well.
I also had a job interview while I was out there, one which came up quite suddenly. Dancing in Socks Guy is in college right now, and for a variety of reasons, mostly having to do with not losing a ton of credit hours, we want him to continue there. However, there's little by way of work there for me. I could, in theory, just get a routine kind of job at a testing lab there, but honestly, the pay is a big issue. Money isn't the most important thing in the world, of course, but it does need to be taken into consideration along with my career trajectory. Testing milk at the local dairy basically will not pay enough and do nothing for my career aspirations.
This job looks like a very good fit. They liked me well enough to request a second interview, which is good. Will I take it if it's offered? Possibly. There are good reasons to move out there, but there's good reasons not to. If something happened to that job, it would be very, very difficult for me to get another in a short period of time, unlike here. However, it pays well enough that we could save enough money to ameliorate any financial crunch, should that happen. We'll see.
So, think good thoughts for me, that if the job is right for me -- and I'm right for it -- that it will work out for the benefit of all involved.
Elle
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Elle
at
3:20 PM
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Kerfuffles
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Labels: Atkins, Dancing in Socks Guy, General Love
Saturday, March 22, 2008
Mixed Marriage
It's because I low-carb and he does not.
We have two very different ways of eating. He's of the low-fat, lean-protein, starchy-and-non-starchy vegetables, whole grains suasion, and I'm of the higher-fat, protein, non-starchy vegetables, very few whole grains school of thought. And it just squicks him that I eat the way I do because he can't accept the fact that you can eat bacon on a regular basis and not drop dead of a heart attack.
True, a lot of this is because he loves me and basically doesn't want me to die young. I think we're agreed on that last point, I don't want to die young either. He doesn't say much about it, but when we're together and I'm hollowing out my breakfast burrito and just eating the eggs, cheese, bacon and chili, I can see him thinking, "O God O God O God, what is she doing?"
This, despite a lot of empirical evidence that demonstrates he's got nothing to worry about. Okay, he never saw me at my highest weight, but he knows I'm prone to abdominal obesity and that with Atkins, that's gone. My total cholesterol/triglycerides are all low. My HDL/LDL ratio is pretty good too. My blood pressure runs a consistent 90/60, which is pretty low. It's always been that low, though, back in the bad old days when I smoked I used to try and kid my doctor that I had to smoke to keep my blood pressure up to where I wouldn't pass out every time I got up from a chair. She was rightfully unimpressed with that logic. And my humor, because it wasn't funny.
As I said, he doesn't say much about it but every now and then he'll say something like, "Sweetie, you should eat more rice. Brown rice is good." To which I reply, "It's good for some people, but I don't react well to any color rice, which is why it's only an occasional treat." To which he responds, "Well, what about blue corn or buckwheat or (insert grain here)?" Which is my cue to huff, "Look, beans, lentils and dried peas are about all I can tolerate on a regular basis without going into a carbohydrate coma, okay?"
He doesn't give me too much grief about it, but I can tell he doesn't really believe me. His diet works for him because he's 6'3" and a guy. Most of his family is the same way, a bunch of tall, high-metabolism beanpoles. He can really imagine what it's like to be a 5'3" woman with a deranged carbohydrate metabolism, because he's not one. He's a typical guy in that if he gains a few pounds, he just cuts back on the beer and sugar and, presto! he's back to normal. I think he really thinks that I'm malnourished because I avoid most non-vegetable carbohydrates.
I suppose after a few more years he may get over it, but I think I'll aways see that gleam of doubt/fear in his eyes as I breakfast on bacon.
Elle
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Elle
at
11:36 AM
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Labels: Atkins, Dancing in Socks Guy, Low Carbing
Thursday, March 6, 2008
How I know he really loves me ...
The other day he told me he'd been in the computer lab at his university, working on something or other and some girl came in and sat at the system next to his. Nothing unusual about that, as people were constantly coming and going. But, he said, it was probably a full half-hour before he realized that this girl was, in fact, a redhead. Something he would have picked up on instantly in times past, but now that he's with me, it's not registering quite as loudly on his radar as it used to.
He's so sweet :)
Elle
PS: For the record, the same has been true for me with Asian/British guys!
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Elle
at
11:56 AM
1 Kerfuffles
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Labels: Dancing in Socks Guy, General Love
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
More Great Websites
I visit Snickollet's site every day. Snickollet is a mother of twins, who lost her husband to pancreatic cancer nearly a year ago. Dorcasina is also a young widow, who lost her husband about 2 and a half years ago to esophageal cancer. I defy you to read through their archives and not cry for days. How I wish I had a magic wand I could wave and magically restore their husbands to life for them. As it is, all I can do is read their blogs, send them good thoughts, and use their stories as object lessons in never taking Dancing in Socks Guy for granted. Snickollet may be running ads on her site soon, to help lessen a financial crunch caused by being a single-income family now. I am certain I will find those ads very interesting. I'll let you know when she starts running them, so you can possibly be very interested too. Dorcasina's having plumbing problems, and she could probably use a word or two of comfort right now.
These are two brave women, who didn't deserve the rotten hand life gave them.
Elle
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Elle
at
1:15 PM
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Labels: Dancing in Socks Guy, General Love
Monday, February 25, 2008
Black is the color of my true love's hair
Here are the lyrics:
Black is the colour of my true love's hair.
Her lips are like a rose so fair.
She's got the sweetest face and the gentlest hands.
I love the ground whereon she stands.
I love my love and well she knows.
I love the ground whereon she goes.
And how I wish the day would come
when she and I can be as one.
I go to the Clyde and mourn and weep
satisfied I never will sleep.
I 'll write her a letter, just a few short lines
And suffer death ten thousand times.
As it happens, black is the color of my true love's hair too :)
Back about ten million years ago, I sang in my school's chorus, and what was called "Concertquire" as well. The former anyone could join (for credit, it was a class), the second was by audition only, and I was just barely talented enough to make it in. Vocally speaking, I'm a full soprano, but I spent most of my time singing contralto, or "second soprano" in chorus and concertquire. This was one of the songs we sang, and I just adore its minor key. I also play the autoharp, and I just found the music for this, so there's something new to learn :)
Elle
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Elle
at
4:48 PM
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Kerfuffles
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Labels: Dancing in Socks Guy, General Love
Saturday, February 23, 2008
Basketball Diaries
So, Boston is at Phoenix tonight and we're "watching" the game together, with him calling me at the quarters. One thing we noticed in the pre-game stuff was Steve Nash talking about the Shaquille O'Neal trade -- the usual stuff, like (paraphrasing) "this is great" and "it's a bold trade but just what we need."
So I said to Dancing in Socks Guy, "You know how meaningless that is, right? They could sign 4'9" Mary Lou Retton and Nash would say something about how out-of-the-box and original this is and that everyone thinks in terms of getting someone who can shoot over people's heads but not of someone who could shoot from between their legs, and this is just what they needed and blah blah blah ..."
I made him snort beer with that one :)
Elle
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Elle
at
12:22 AM
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Labels: Basketball Diaries, Dancing in Socks Guy
Friday, February 22, 2008
Courtesy of Dancing in Socks Guy's best friend
Don't hate me, but you're going to have the music from this stuck in your head forever. But you won't mind it :)
Elle
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Elle
at
12:04 AM
1 Kerfuffles
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Labels: Dancing in Socks Guy, General Love, Kitties
Friday, February 15, 2008
Happy Belated Valentine's Day!

I like it :) This card, more than anything, is a perfect example of why S and I are best friends.
I hope you all had a wonderful Valentine's Day. Mine was perfect except my Valentine is 2000+ miles away right now. But in just a few weeks I'll be out there with him.
Elle
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Elle
at
8:58 PM
0
Kerfuffles
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Labels: Dancing in Socks Guy, General Love
Monday, January 28, 2008
Twenty-Five Reasons Why I Love Dancing in Socks Guy
- I love that he loves cats as much as I do.
- I love that he's such a good driver. I have to confess, I'm a big baby when it comes to driving on mountain roads with steep drop-offs and no guard rails, but I'm never afraid of them when he's driving.
- I love that his best friend is a woman, who is not me.
- I love his shoulders.
- I love his 'phone voice.' It's so damn sexy!
- I love the way that he's an unabashed Adidas whore and will buy anything with those three stripes, even knowing as he does that he's basically paying them to advertise their stuff.
- I love that he's like a sommelier, except for beer. The man has an exquisitely developed beer palate.
- I love that he loves cartoons as much as I do. This is what really brought us together.
- I love that he has a very close relationship with his sister, especially since I don't have the same with my brothers.
- I love that he worries about me as much as he does. After years of being with men who mostly worried that I might dare begin thinking about having a long-term relationship with them, having someone worry about things like my health and the safety of my vehicle is refreshing.
- I love that he's such a foodie. He has a real talent for finding the best (insert cuisine here) wherever he goes.
- I love that he's still friends with people he knew as a child.
- I love the way he smells.
- I love how he can wax enthusiastic for hours over some obscure House music.
- I love that he's as much of an Anglophile as I am.
- I love that we can talk for hours and hours and hours and still have things to talk about.
- I love how he goes out of his way to tell me he appreciates little things I do for him, even if I've done them a million times.
- I love that he's Navajo and proud of it.
- I love that he has the same encyclopedic memory for one-hit-wonders and obscure television shows that I do.
- I love that I can start to say that I heard about something or other on NPR and he'll say, "Oh yeah! That's where they ..."
- I love that he literally can remember, almost word-for-word, the first telephone conversation we had nearly twelve years ago.
- I love that he enjoys fantasy shopping for furniture with me, where we look at stuff we'd like to have someday and fantasize that we'll actually be able to afford it.
- I love that he drinks tea, specifically PG Tips.
- I love that he listens to BBC1 as much as I do.
- I love that this list could number into infinity and I still wouldn't be done talking about the things I love about him.
Elle
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Elle
at
3:58 PM
1 Kerfuffles
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Labels: Dancing in Socks Guy
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
Dancing in Socks Guy, I love you
I love you, Dancing in Socks Guy. And I'm so proud of you. You're not only a million times nicer, sweeter, kinder and more loving than anyone who came before, you are also smarter :)
One more final to go, tomorrow, but I don't anticipate you'll have any problems at all with that one, either. Good luck, love, and go study :)
Elle
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Elle
at
9:23 AM
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Labels: Dancing in Socks Guy
Friday, November 30, 2007
Happiness ...
Is a visit from my beloved Dancing in Socks Guy :) He'll be here till Monday, thus posting will be a little light though I'll try and update some of the links to the kimkins Google Bomb while he's in the shower. Thanks for all those and of course if you find new ones or some I have missed, let me know. Y'all are the best!
Speaking of Kimkins, here's a video of our favorite Discredited Diet Guru on KTLA.
And you know, there are people like Kimmer in the word, but there are also people who take in and raised orphaned baby coyotes. So it all evens out in the end.
Elle
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Elle
at
3:56 PM
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Labels: Dancing in Socks Guy, kimkins
Saturday, November 17, 2007
Gobs and Gobs of Snot
Mom and I did a tour from Collette Vacations. This is the first inclusive tour I've ever done, in the past I've always found my own way around a given country and honestly, I wasn't too sure how much I'd like being ferried around. But, Mom was more comfortable with the idea of a guided tour and pointed out, correctly, that there was a far better chance we wouldn't kill each other if we didn't have to deal with making our own arrangements for transportation etc.
So, I figured why not, and decided to keep an open mind. I'm glad I did because I had a great time. Our tour guide, Teria, was just wonderful. Friendly, fun, yet professional, Teria is a first-generation Italian American who splits her time between the US and Italy, and regaled us with fascinating tidbits of Italian culture during coach trips to various places. Our driver, Claudio, was also amazing.
I'll be doing a travelogue about where we went and what we did, but one of the nicer aspects of this tour was that in addition to the standard things you'd see in Rome, the Amalfi Coast and Capri, they also took us to some out-of-the-way places I never would have gone to see on my own, such as a workshop where cameos are made, a Limoncello (!!!) factory, and even a farm where mozzarella cheese is produced organically from water buffalo. As for that last -- if you're going to be a domesticated water buffalo, you want to live here.
We went to lots of places, but also had quite a bit of free time, during which I also took the opportunity to scatter the last of my grandmother's ashes in the Tyrrhenian Sea, in the same waters her father, my bis-nonno, used to fish.
So, yeah, this tour kicked ass and I even spent nine days straight in my mother's company and we only yelled at each other twice. Well, three times. Maybe four.
Among the many things I brought back from Italy were tons of souvenirs, including a bunch of stuff for my Dancing in Socks Guy, a realization that my Italian is actually a whole lot better than I thought it was, and the worst motherfucking head cold I've ever had in my entire life. Some background -- I've traveled extensively, and it's been my experience that every time I go somewhere in Europe, I catch a cold. I was smugly congratulating myself on not catching one this time, and the day before we left I of course woke up with a head full of snot.
Lots of snot. Gobs and gobs and gobs of snot. I managed to totter through work these last two weeks with what I think might be adenovirus-14, but I've been more or less useless as far as anything else goes. I have something like 1000 pictures to sort through and upload, and a house that desperately needs cleaning, especially since Dancing in Socks Guy will be here in two weeks and we're still in the stage where I really don't want him to see all the cat-hair tumbleweeds blowing through here.
Elle
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1:53 PM
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Labels: Dancing in Socks Guy, Italy, Snot
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
The Story of Us
Dancing in Socks Guy is my fiance. Unofficial fiance, because while we are not formally engaged, we're planning on getting married. As in, we've discussed when, where, who's invited and all of that. I don't want an engagement ring, but I do want a formal proposal, which I believe he is pondering. Probably on the jumbotron at a Phoenix Suns game.
We have been together for over a year and a half, though we've known each other for nearly twelve years. We first 'met' online (of course) in a chat room called Club Wired. Club Wired was started by Wired Magazine and was one of the first, and more popular chat rooms. There was never anything romantic between us then, though he's since told me he had a huge crush on me at the time. One barrier to any romance was the fact that he's some years younger than me, no big deal now, but problematic back then. Plus, I was busy getting my heart broken by a bunch of other Club Wired denizens.
Club Wired went the way of the dinosaurs, but a few of us kept in touch -- a couple of emails a year, that kind of thing. Towards the end of my tenure on Club Wired, Dancing in Socks Guy's mom was diagnosed with cancer. She did well for many years, but eventually died back in 2005. He took care of her for the last three years or so of her life, and as I'd done the same thing for my grandparents, we had that in common. He emailed me when his mom died, and we talked about that, and what it was like to suddenly stop being a caregiver. Then a few months passed, and I emailed him to see how he was doing, then he called me, then he called me again and next thing you know ...
We'd both done the online romance thing before, and I'd sworn back in 1997 to never, ever, never, ever, NEVER EVER do that again. They'd all gone the same way -- this instant, intense emotional connection via chat and phone, followed by a real-life meeting that had all the passion of dead trout and the usual and painful denouement of recriminations and disappointment. I knew it worked for some people, but after a few truly awful experiences, I was convinced it was not for me.
So of course, there I was, forming an instant, intense emotional connection with Dancing in Socks Guy, after swearing that was never going to happen. And he was feeling the same thing. We danced around it for a bit, then finally on April 23, 2006 we both fessed up on what we now call Mutual Disclosure Day. That's what we celebrate as our anniversary. We met face to face shortly thereafter, and it's been love and rainbows and ponies ever since.
We have a lot in common -- cats (he has two, I have four), a love of cartoons and comic strips, music, world view, science and all that. We also have some striking differences, the most obvious of which is an eight-year age difference, which makes me a cougar though he still falls within the half-your-age-plus-seven rule and the fact that he's Navajo, and I am an Italian-European Mutt Mix.
The age difference is not such a big deal now as it would have been twelve years ago -- we were in our thirties and have had similar experiences, and wanted the same things out of life. The only time it's noticeable is when he talks about things like watching the Smurfs on Saturday mornings, dressed in footie pajamas and eating Cocoa Puffs and I realize that when that was going on I was probably sleeping off the wages of the previous night's kegger.
The interracial aspect is more striking. It doesn't matter in the sense that it's no barrier to a relationship, but in some ways it does matter -- as it does in any interracial relationship, and this isn't my first time dating someone of a different race -- because there are certain things regarding each of our ethnicities that the other can only appreciate on a purely intellectual level. As with the age thing, it doesn't come up all that often, but it's there, and in a different way than I've ever experienced before.
As for his name -- that came about due to my involvement in a Livejournal community dedicated to commentary on the strip, "For Better or For Worse." One character was dating a guy who was half-indigenous (only half, in what I consider a massive cop-out on the part of the strip's creator) and at one point this character and her boyfriend were dancing around the living room in their socks, which became a metaphor for being all goofy-sappy in wuv, and since that's how I feel, Dancing in Socks Guy he became :)
So, there it is. We spend a lot of time flying back and forth, talk for hours every day, and have met the families and all that. I actually just met his dad and sister (see below), and I like them both a lot. His sister is 'one of us' and his dad is so sweet. When we were leaving, he gave me a hug and said "Welcome to the family."
*Sniffle*
That was so nice to hear, and actually trumps what my mom did when she met DISG, which was to bring picture of my niece and nephew along, ostensibly to show them to me because I hadn't yet seen them, but in reality as an unconscious plea for more grandchildren. But that is another post.
Elle
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Elle
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11:19 PM
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Back!
We went to the State Fair the night I got there, which was fun. I've never been to a real state fair before, just the little toy fair we have around here. I met his dad and his sister and of course everything was fine there, they are very nice.
The next day we ended up driving up the Sandias, which was so, so, SO beautiful if a little ear-popping. Then we went shopping for some more apartment stuff he needed, and I helped Dancing in Socks Guy set up some of his new Ikea stuff. Actually, I set it up because I'm good at that stuff and he's more, uh, deliberate in terms of putting stuff together. Besides, he had reading to do.
And, of course, we ate in all my favorite places -- Village Pizza in Corrales, The Frontier, Lotaburger, The Range Cafe, and my beloved Flying Star ... oh, it was heavenly and how sad is it that the thing I most look forward to, besides seeing Dancing in Socks Guy, is having a breakfast burrito at The Frontier?
Elle
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Elle
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3:50 PM
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